The gods envy us…
I’m laying in my bed, high as a fucking kite ,headphones in ,listening to a genre of music that would raise a lot of eyebrows.
In my mind I’m laying in a field of grass with tulips around. I’m finally still enough to hear my soul.
The wind brushes past reminding me nothing stays not even that very moment.
Somehow , it doesn’t make me sad , it makes me happier , it makes the moment sacred.
I question life and its meaning. I personally don’t believe there’s any meaning ,unless you give yourself one. If that’s the case then good for you!
I don’t believe we are here to just
Go to school
Join university
Graduate
Get a job
Pay taxes
Get married
Have kids
Little vacation here and there
Work
Pay school fees
Pay more taxes
Grow old
Retire
Then die later
That can’t be it , even if it is …why does it always feel like something is missing
What comes after death?? A paradise ? Nothing ? Do we reincarnate?
And why do we fear it so much ?
I think there’s an unsettling beauty in knowing any moment could be your last.
If we were eternal , untouchable ,immune to endings ;would anything really matter?
Would a sunset feel like a farewell or just another repetitive occurrence of an endless chain of tomorrows?
Would love feel fragile and sacred or simply inevitable?
“The gods envy us” because we are mortal ,any moment could be our last. To be mortal is to live with awareness that everything we hold will one day slip right through our fingers and instead of making a fuss about it , we make every second glow.
Because we are doomed, we notice
We notice the way laughter lingers a second longer than it should . The way the eyes of our loved ones soften when they look at us . Music understanding parts of us that we can’t explain. The joy and lessons that come through suffering. The ability of our hearts to hold on to special moments that help us fight through the toughest of battles. These aren’t just experiences , they are miracles and it’s their fragility that makes them special.
If time were infinite we would care, we’d love later ,forgiveness could wait ,dreams wouldn’t be chased. There would always be another chance , another lifetime.
There isn’t tho
The heart beats louder and the choices feel heavier. Love feels riskier and real beauty reveals itself in the smallest and temporary ways.
A conversation at midnight
Shared silence
A goodbye you didn’t know would be the last
A drunk Cigarette with a friend
A glass of wine with your partner
Being the shoulder someone can lean on
We know what it means to run out of time . We understand what it means to cherish something precisely because it cannot be kept.
In the face of a shitty ending , we still choose to love , to hope , to dream , to pour ourselves into moments that we know won’t last.
We burn knowing we will burn out
One day the moment is gone and that’s what makes it beautiful.
Sending love from my corner of the world❤️🌍
~Jeremiah Muiru
