Freedom under Neon lights

Live a little?

I’m on my 12th shot of the night. I’ve chugged a quarter by myself , my phone is at 9 % , four missed called from the Head of Operations (my mother) , 16 other missed calls from random number ; I’d guess my boda guy , my friend who’s phone died and such.

My finger tips smell of Oris , I have 2 more cigarettes in my back pocket and one in between my fingers. The lighter sparks up and I’m about to get a solid 15 second head rush. I had a vape pen , then I gave it to my homie , then my homie gave it to some girl who winked at him , then the girl gave it to her boyfriend , then we got it back and I gave it to my other friend ….anyway it’s gone, I’ll complain in the morning.

My M-pesa weh

OH SHIT! I know that guy , I saw him somewhere with that other guy

The liquor is hitting the right spot , the music is loud but not too loud , I need more. Let’s go to a club.

1:28 AM

We are outside the club passing a bottle around “pre game” yessss

Will this come to bite us in the ass most likely.

The entrance is packed , people are so beautiful, well dressed , the boys have their shit on , fresh cuts , new chains , rings , dark shades , hitting a cig , holding bottles and dope fits ..you name it !!

The ladies are dressed amazing , make up done ,perfume captivating , wigs ,hair done , earrings shining you’d see them from a distance , high heels and designer bags

There’s something almost rebellious about stepping into the night life.

In Nairobi , it’s seen as

Irresponsible

Drugs

Reckless

Chasing a high

Losing control

Bad decisions

I personally used to see it this way before I travelled. Convincing me to go out was a task not for the weak. I’d judge because to me it felt like a distraction and irresponsibility.

My mind was locked into helping the family , money , surviving , football; trying to build something meaningful. Every hour had to count and every move was meant to push me forward and in that mindset nightlife looked like a risk to my work.

In a world that constantly demands.

More discipline

More certainty

More confidence

More productivity

More work done

More time

The simple act of going outside, music over noise ,lights over sleep , presence over pressure felt like a resistance.

Society is always loud to us , the youth. We are the next leaders , the next mother , the next father , the next CEO , the next lawyer.

SHUT

THE

FUCK

UP

We are supposed to have a plan , a timeline, a layout , a purpose that should make sense to everyone else but you.

We are always building ,chasing and proving but the night never asks for that.

All it asks for is your PRESENCE.

A tipsy you , cigarette/ vape , your crew , loud music , half charged phones , beautiful people and adrenaline pumping.

FREEDOM

Heart pumping , following your friend into the club , the place is dark , flashing lights only give you a small glimpse of the person next to you .The DJ has been brought down straight from heaven , he is about to baptize you in a mix that will keep you there till 7 am

You look around and notice one thing. Everyone is free , everyone is relieved to be there, no work stress , no assignment stress , no expectations, no mom and dad in your ear complaining about something they also did in their campus years

The freedom you find there you can’t find it elsewhere, nothing is forced , nothing is performative . It’s just you ,drunk and you let out your confident and free self. A place where no one will question you for dancing , being open , loud , jumpy , hyped up. Because they all needed a break from being “on” all the time. Just like you do

You’re given the space to be your unfiltered self and you can exist because for that time you aren’t defined by responsibilities or your goals. You’re ALIVE!!!

Memories are made spontaneously, no structure , no planning. Wait for the right moment and JUST WING IT!!

The random conversations with random people who surprisingly share the same interests with us , the blurry pictures we take with our friends (it’s the most you’ve seen them happy that whole month). The nights that start with no intention end up creating the memories that you carry for YEARS!!

Cause life isn’t all about the destination. It’s about the journey ; the moments in between , the laughs , the releases , the spaces where you can connect with yourself.

Balance is key though , we don’t let it consume us but we also can’t allow reality to suck the life out of us.

Somewhere between responsibility and release ,that’s where we actually live.